March 5th
3/5/2025
Hey everyone!! Holy what a month that was! I almost didn’t make it out of it. After my last post, I had a seriously bad reaction to the medication that made it feel like my brain had swollen or something. I could barely move my body without my head throbbing, and let me tell ya, I couldn’t imagine how painful it would have been to give a blow job with my head feeling that way… so I stopped with that medication, and like two days later, the headaches stopped (the headache was consistent for thirteen days!) and I was slowly gaining my energy back.
After being off the medication for three days, I started to run again. And by the end of the week, I was full on back to my routine. Gym in the morning, running in the afternoon, and doing my recovery stuff at lunch time or the evening. But within a week – I was back to my bubbly, cheerful self. It truly does take work to make ourselves feel good, and it is a lack of work to keep ourselves feeling like shit.
That is a place that I never want to get back to. Man, February was basically a write off, I barely left my bed, and not in a good way. But that is ok. We have to go through the darkness to get to the light. And in order to appreciate all aspects of our lives, we have to be faced with hard times to ensure that we can get through anything.
In that time, I became ungrateful for my recovery, I had almost forgotten how hard it was for me to get sober and clean. It took me over fifteen years to get to where I am today. When I first came into recovery, I did not want to listen to anyone, I didn’t want to do the things it takes to get sober, and for years, I struggled. Now that I have some years in, I sometimes take that for granted. And I really shouldn’t. In a moment, just one bad decision, could make me lose this all over again. Once I started to feel better, I realized that I needed to put the same amount of effort into my recovery again as I was to feeling well… and wow, did that change things drastically.
My heart became full again, I was looking at the trees, the sky and all the beauty in the world with such awe again. I love what gratitude does for our perspective. I wake up grateful to be given another day. I love going straight to the gym and showing my body appreciation for carrying me through life, and even better day when I can get out for a run or hike. The fresh air just adds that extra mental uplift.
Having said that, I have some sad news, I have decided to return to the work force. Not sure when I will get a job, but it will likely be during the day… as my work experience is office and accounting. I will still keep clients for the weekends and evenings. I have a job interview Thursday the 6th, so this could be my final Friday day time that I am available until the next Stat holiday. Like I mentioned, I will still take clients in the evenings and weekends once I do attain employment, but as I was going through all this shit last month, I realized that I wasn’t using my brain the way that I used to, it wasn’t being challenged intellectually, and I feel that “if we don’t use it, we lose it” and I certainly do not want to lose any intellect or wit.
Well, Thank you all for reading and being a part of this blog. I love that I finally have something happy and positive to write as it was so dark there for a while. Man, life does throw us curve balls sometimes. Life truly is about finding out the cards we were dealt and then learning how to play the hell out of that hand.
Kisses and Licks,
Jenny.
